Broken Souls and Torn Memories
by Hizumi
Summary: Three years have passed and now both Faye and Spike are now a couple; but their relationship is jeopardized when Julia comes back from the dead. Faye, not wanting to give up her love for Spike, decides to fight for him.
1. The Ghost of the Dead

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop…

(AN: Yes, I have replaced the real "Broken Souls and Torn Memories" Although I don't know if everyone is going to like this one… I do, because it's Spike/Faye paring. ^-^. This was something I wrote down a long time ago, and I just found it today… Well hope you like!

By the way, this story quickly changes from 3rd person view to 1st person and stuff like that... Sorry about that…)

Broken Souls and Torn Memories

Chapter One:

The Ghost of the Dead

*--- Jet's P.O.V. ---*

Things have been pretty normal since the death of Vicious. Spike had been seriously injured, and if it wasn't for Faye, right now he would be dead along with everyone else. It's been 3 years now; peace had come to all our lives.

Spike had accepted that Julia has died, and from that he thinks the hold she had on him was now lifted. He grieved, as a man should, but it passed with time.

Faye had accepted Spike as her boyfriend, and both of them were now dating each other freely. Things would go on between them, as man and woman, and I think you know what I mean.

The bounties have been coming in one after another. Faye had given up on gambling, well, has kind of given up. She and Spike had been working out together, Spike showing Faye how to defend herself physically, and she was showing Spike how to cheat at gambling. It's pretty much a give/give deal.

As for myself, well, I feel like the old man of the group; the father, so to say. I watch over the two love birds, Ed and Ein. Since the money of the bounties has been good, we have now food to which we can eat everyday and not like before where we had to eat eggs or instant soup.

It wasn't until today that I realized something was wrong. Things in the Bebop have been quiet; too quiet. I went to Spike's room and he wasn't there. I thought he might have gone out with Faye, since they normally do, but I was wrong. When I went to Faye's room I found her lying on her bed.

I stood by the door to her room. She was still lying there, making no movements at all. This scared me a bit. What if she had died on her bed? Nah, I dismissed that thought and I went towards her bed, sitting down on the chair that was nearest to her bed.

*--- Faye's P.O.V. ---*

I felt someone at my door. The only (sane) person I knew to be there was Jet. I didn't even bother to turn around and tell him all my sorrows. 

I've been living in a dream world all this time. I knew that this was too good to be true. There is no real love anywhere. Of course, being the person that I am, I had to learn it the hard way.

Jet moved closer to my bed. He sat down and just said nothing for a while. I guess that was a clue for me to start talking, but I just felt so embarrassed. I've been used. I've been thrown around like a rag doll in a dog's mouth. I felt like dying.

That was when I was thrown out of my misery. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Jet said. Funny, I never noticed before, but he's like a father figure to everyone. He give everyone advice on what they should do. Just like a father would do.

I want to tell him. Really! But something was stopping me. Something inside me told me to deal with this myself. I listened to that part of me.

I pretended not to listen to Jet. I just lay there; it seems like my chest hurts more and more when I think about him and her.

I look towards the outside of the window inside my room. I notice for the first time how beautiful space is. Funny how all this should come to an end on the planet Mars. Everything is just too coincidental. It's scary actually, when you start thinking about it.

I start to grow cold. My blood pressure dropped and I was now really cold. To warm myself up, I decide to curl up into a fetal position. I felt the warmth of tears forming in my eyes. I let them drop slowly, not showing that I felt any pain. Just slowly like rain drops sliding down a window.

I just close my eyes, shielding out the horrible feelings of the outside world.

*--- Jet's P.O.V. ---*

I sighed as I figured I wasn't going to get any answers from Faye. She was the type of woman who liked to keep stuff to herself, I respect that; but that also scares me. I've seen women who act like that and they take out their own anger on themselves.

I decided to let her have her own peace and quiet. I guess she wanted her time alone. As I turned to see if she was ok, I found her with her eyes closed. I thought she was sleeping and so I decided to quietly leave.

Before I reached the door to her room something was holding me back. Subconsciously I knew Faye wanted to talk to me; but I guess I never listen to that side so I just shrugged it off and decided to leave.

That was before I heard Faye say some, it was almost inaudible but I caught it.

"Julia didn't die… She's come back."

(AN: Yes! Well I hope you like. This is going to be an angsty fic (duh!)  Well, later on this is going to deal with issues that many people might not like, like self inflicting wounds and stuff like that. Check back later on!

Oh Yeah, please review! ^-^)


	2. False Pretense

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop… I own the movie though! ^-^

(AN: Thanks to the people who reviewed this story. The original plot for this was pretty crappy so I re-thought it. Yay! I like it better now!

Read at your discretion because the following has **some** things that says that Faye is hurting herself. If you don't like to read that kind of things, then I would suggest for you to read something else. If you have no problem with it, then go ahead. ^-^ Have a nice day!)

Broken Souls and Torn Memories

Chapter Two:

False Pretense

*--- Faye's P.O.V. ---*

I think I stayed in my room for about hours. I really couldn't think of anything, rather than Julia's Face and Spike's happiness. I'm such a fool… I should have known that he wouldn't really get over her that easily, no matter how long she was gone from his view, she would always be with him.

She is like a roach. You might step on her and you think she's dead, but in reality it's just a show she puts on. She still alive, and always will be no matter what happens. Spike is like a love sick puppy. He goes running off after her, hoping that together they will live happily ever after…

That only happens in fairy tale. This, my friends, is no fairy tale; it's more like a never ending nightmare with a bitch who never dies.

I sighed and lay on my back now. I stare at the ceiling, with nothing in particular to see, just a dull worn out metallic ceiling; nothing special.

Spike wasn't going to come to the Bebop for (if my calculations were right…) another day or so. I was safe, or at least, I was safe from seeing him. I don't know how I'm going to react to him. He doesn't know anything about me seeing him with Julia; I guess he's just going to come here like everything is fine.

I can't stand solitude anymore. I need to get out, do something, and entertain my mind in something. Yes, the only thing to take my mind off of my problems is gambling. It's my haven.

I get up and start to get ready. I picked out some clothes that make me look wealthy, a rich upper class lady with style. I wanted myself to look scenic, important; something I wasn't in one man's life. If only the people at the Casino really knew…

Once I finally picked out my clothes, I went to take a bath to wash out all of the sadness and hurt I felt. Funny, the last thing I would have expected was that the bathroom would be the last place to get hurt. Well, I didn't get hurt intentionally, it was just an accident. Don't you just hate it when you're shaving and you cut yourself? Yes, well it did hurt, but not for long.

Then it hit me. This was my way out of misery. Yeah, it did hurt somewhat, but it made my problems go away. I looked at it, the razor. It seemed to be calling out to me, to do it again. I looked down at my leg where the small amounts of blood seemed to flow freely from my body. Looking at it made me feel… good…

I shook off the urge to do it. I've heard of people who like to hurt themselves. I would have never thought I would one day I would become one of those people.

*--- Spike's P.O.V. ---*

I lied to Faye, and she saw me. Well, I didn't know how much she saw, but I saw her leave. The emotion on her face said it all: Betrayal, Heartbreak, Lies, Sadness, and Angry… I could go on, and those words would repeat themselves all over again.

I couldn't help it. I was so happy in seeing Julia again that I completely forgot that I was with Faye. In seeing Julia again I felt complete, but with Faye I felt like that too. It's like she completed me when Julia wasn't around to do it.

Great, now I'm saying that Faye is just Julia's replacement. It's not like that. There was even times where Faye made me feel something I've never felt with Julia. This is just too complicated. Now I don't know what to do. I love Faye but I also love Julia. 

As I walk along the streets I get lost in my thoughts. Julia is walking beside me, as if nothings wrong. I wish I felt like that.

"What's wrong?" Julia asks. Her arm is wrapped around mine and she has her head on my shoulder. I shouldn't be wit her, I say to myself. I wish there was an easier solution to this…

"Nothing" I reply back. Lying to Julia doesn't make me feel any better than if I lie to Faye. I once again I get lost in my thoughts about Faye. I hurt her. She would never forgive me. I wouldn't blame her. I want to go back to the Bebop, to tell her everything is going to be the way it was before; but something is holding me back. Julia always has this effect on me.

I feel Julia stop. I turn around to see what it is, and she just stares at me. She then asks me one of the hardest things I would have to answer, "Do you love me?"

*--- Jet's P.O.V. ---*

I saw Faye leave. She tried to hide the sadness that always crept on her face by using makeup. Not a lot of it, but enough to shield out the noticeable spots.

I guess she was going somewhere fancy, since she was dressed up. I would have thought that she would be in bed, crying her eyes out, but once again Faye has proved me wrong. That's always like Faye, being so unpredictable. 

I just hope she'll be fine. The feeling of Déjà vu came to me since moments before I told her "be careful". I just really hope she listens to me for once.

(AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Sorry if I made this so short again… -_-* It's not my intention, in my head its this long thing, and then when I write it,  it just gets shorter @_@. *sigh* Sorry!

Please Review! ^-^) 


	3. Casualties of Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop…

(AN: This normally circulates around Faye, Spike and Jet. Ed and Ein don't really come into the story that much. Sorry about that …

Up till now, I haven't added a 3rd person view. I don't know if I should do that or it might just confuse you with it. Still thinking about that…)

Broken Souls and Torn Memories

Chapter Three:

Casualties of Love

*--- Spike's P.O.V. ---*

I haven't seen Faye all day. I just got back from being with Julia all day long. When she asked me if I love her, I couldn't answer her. I stood silent and just looked down, averting her piercing gaze. That same statement led my thoughts to wonder to Faye. Do I love her?

I started thinking. Of course I do, if not, then why hadn't I answered Julia? My mind was made up. I did love Faye, but also Julia. There were times when I was with both women that I found myself thinking that I love Faye more than I loved Julia and vice versa.

I never knew loving two different people would be so difficult for one another.

When Jet came to my room, I asked where Faye had gone to. From the look he gave me, he was pretty pissed off at what I had done.

"Is it true?" Jet asked averting my question. He seemed to contain his anger very well hidden.

"Is what true?" Damn it. I kept lying every time. Why couldn't I just tell the truth to someone I've known for so long?

"Don't play stupid with me Spike!" His voice seemed to be tensed, like if he was worried, but also very agitated and angry.

I just sighed and lied back in my bed. Staring at the ceiling, I let my mouth answer the questions, and not my thoughts that seemed to be roaming free and telling lies every chance it had. "Did Faye tell you?"

This time it was Jet that sighed. He sat down on my bed next to me, during which he had his back turned, facing me. "She just told me that Julia came back."

I kept my view on the ceiling. "Yeah" I said. What else could I say? That Julia was coming to live with us? Not likely…

"Faye was pretty upset, when she found out about the two of you." Jet's words seemed to whisper from his mouth. Seemed like it hurt him to see one of the people he grew fond of was suffering.

'So she did know…' My mind kept saying to me. 'She did see you with _her'. I was so angry at myself at that point. I'm acting stupid! Childish! In a manner a grown man shouldn't act like! I hate scowling at myself; it makes me think that sometimes, I'm just going crazy._

*--- Jet's P.O.V. ---*

Spike gets me mad sometimes. Ok, maybe I should take it back. He makes me mad al the times! He's so blind when it comes to women. Goddamn I hate it when he does act like a fool.

What surprised me was that he did come back, and so soon too. Normally, he would be out till next week or so, but it was just a day that has passed. I'm surprised at him. Maybe he does care about Faye, and what she does. But that was just a _maybe._

I didn't tell him where Faye went; maybe it was because she needed her own privacy from Spike. Or maybe he would want to do something stupid and drastic and that would mess up his chances of setting things right with Faye. Damn kids; don't know how to act like adults anymore.

I walked down the hall to the kitchen. It was late, and I was starving. Spike (I would imagine) has already fallen asleep. There was no point in asking him. When I got to the fridge, I remembered that there wasn't almost anything in there. I sighed. I took out a cup of instant noodle soup and just pulled the string. It was heated up in no time. 

When I walked back to the 'living room' so to say, I saw Ein on the floor. He was sleeping and I didn't even bother making that much noise. That dog can sleep through anything…

Sitting on the couch, I just think about nothing in particular; just how stupid Faye and Spike could be, especially Spike. I think I drifted off to sleep after I ate the instant noodle soup, because I don't remember anything after that…

*--- Faye's P.O.V. ---*

I know I made a lot of noise when I came in. I really didn't care. It was probably somewhere between 3 and 5 A.M. when I arrived back home. I had to laugh at that. Home. I haven't had a home since I haven't remembered who I really am or where I come from. Funny, this place, the Bebop, always made me feel so at home.

I didn't even bother to look at anything to eat. I was so tired of going out and trying to forget my problems that I exhausted myself. What had me kinda in shock was that I saw Spike's ship outside. He must have come home. Oh well, its not like I was going to talk to him anytime soon. 

What was a mere accident was now almost an hourly ritual. The slashing of my body was now more relaxing that I have ever felt. I sighed as I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I don't want any peeping toms to be watching what I do in my privacy time.

Before I went to sleep that day, I had to cut myself where no one would notice. Of course, I rarely saw them around anyways so what the hell… I decided to do a big long one. Not anything deep of course, but a long one that was more than 3 inches in length. Where? I had to think about that for a moment. Where was the sensitive skin? I figured where it was softer, the more sensitive it might be. I led the razor on the left side of my left leg, where the skin was soft. Yup, I hit the jackpot.

When I was done, I was more exhausted then what I was when I walked through the door. I dressed myself in a big long shirt and tucked myself in. My thoughts seemed to not leave me in peace. While I sleep I still have those recurring dreams about Spike and Julia. My consciousness was still pretty disturbed, but I just pushed all those memories to the back of my head. Tomorrow I'll deal with them. Tomorrow I'll deal with Spike too, if he's here. 

(AN: Well, yeah another short chapter for you -_-;; Next chapter will (hopefully) be the conflict of the story! Yes!... *ahem* Well, review please!)


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